Zambeef Operational Report – Francis Writes to Carl (Parody)
Agriculture, Zambeef Products Plc

The following parody is based on Zambeef’s recent operational announcement published on LuSe.

Dr, Carl Irwin, Former Co CEO Zambeef

Dear Carl,

It has been a couple of months since we last worked together. Life has not been the same since you left. Life at Zambeef has not been the same since you left. We had a beautiful adventure. We knew it was a crazy idea that we would build one of the biggest food networks in Africa. We built a company that includes a retail & distribution network, cold chain food products, cropping and stock feed, just to mention a few. This is without a doubt the ultimate Zambian dream.

We are having an interesting year since you left. The lads from CDC have come in and added a different dimension to our strategy. Their presence is even much stronger now as they have 2 representatives on our board albeit a bit boring as the new boys only seem to be concern about tanning while I miss our fishing trips. It was painful letting go of our pet project Zampalm. However, we got a bloody good deal from the boys at IDC ($16+million). Not to mention the performance clause we locked in. An almost breakeven considering we ploughed in just over $20 million over a 7-8 year period.

We had a bit of drama in the last couple of months of 2018. Live animal movement was banned in and out of the Chisamba and Chibombo districts as a result of foot and mouth disease (FMD). Sadly, as a result of FMD, the Zambeef dairy lost 175 animals. So glad we took out insurance as the pay-out policy compensation came in at $240,000. In addition, I can confirm that the volume of milk being produced by the dairy herd has fully recovered to levels that existed before the outbreak of the disease. However, the financial effect of FMD was sufficiently provided for in the March 2018 interim results and we reported on that on 6 June 2018.

Like as if FMD was not enough, there was an outbreak of Bacteria Leaf Streak (BLS) which was detected in our winter wheat crop. As a result of the disease, wheat yields are anticipated to be lower than initially budgeted for. Not a complete disaster though as our wheat sales contracts have been concluded at higher than budget prices per ton (joys of hedging) and therefore Zambeef does not currently anticipate that the BLS outbreak will have a material financial impact on the Group’s performance for the 2018 financial year. I always told you that having market power could come in hand in protecting our income statement.

Regarding embracing technology for us to gain competitive advantage, the group is pleased to announce that the project of installing new point of sale software in all Zambeef outlets is now complete. The lads in IT advised our management that this successful innovation will result in vastly more detail and valuable management information being available to Zambeef’s management. This is a remarkable transformation as it clearly shows how far we have come. I remember you using that old calculator and scoffing at the thought of using Microsoft excel to work the numbers. I would definitely poke fun at you when the lads teach you how to use our new system if you were still here.

Craig Harris is hard at work preparing for a financial year end to remember. I really miss you Carl. I wish you could be here next to me as my Co CEO as I take on Africa and expand on our dream of becoming the biggest there ever was in this land.

You take you. I will smoke a Cubana when we announcement our earnings results for 2018.

Your friend

Francis Grogan, Chief Executive Officer

Francis Grogan, CEO Zambeef

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