The views expressed in this article are his own and not necessarily those of KPMG.
Introduction
After working in the corporate environment for several years, I have had the privilege of cultivating work relationships with colleagues and superiors. Throughout this time, I have witnessed a few colleagues from different types of organizations transition from enjoying the work they do to struggling to muster the motivation to go to work.
I have asked myself this question multiple times, what changed? Was it fatigue from working at the same company and performing similar tasks for an extended period, was it the urge to progress in different areas in one’s career, was it the work-life balance aspect or was it something else? All factors may contribute to one’s happiness in the workplace, but an overlooked detail as to why some people have chosen to “jump ship” is toxic work relationships.
What is a Toxic work relationship?
A toxic work relationship can be defined as any connection between workmates that is unpleasant, energy-draining, or that is characterized by negative behaviors, attitudes, and communication. However, toxic work relationships are not only connections between people in the same organization but can extend to client relationships depending on what type of business your organization performs and what your role is.
An employee that works 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, and perhaps sleeps for 8 hours, spends over 35% of his/her waking hours at work and this is excluding overtime and weekend call-ups. Given the amount of time spent at work, it is in both the employer’s and employees’ interest that the work environment is harmonious and conducive for productivity.
Identifying Toxic Work Relationship
Toxic working relationships come in many forms. Here are some common signs that you may be in a toxic work relationship:
- Lack of trust. If you feel like you can’t rely on your colleague or boss to keep their word, this can be a sign of a toxic work relationship.
- Gossip and negative talk. If you’re hearing negative things about yourself or other colleagues, or if you’re being excluded from conversations that you should be included in, this can be a sign of a toxic work relationship.
- Micromanagement. If your boss is constantly checking up on you or giving you unnecessary instructions, this can be a sign of a toxic work relationship.
- Harassment or bullying. Any form of harassment or bullying, including verbal abuse, physical intimidation, or sabotage, is a sign of a toxic work relationship.
This list is not exhaustive. Any interaction with workmates that inspires a negative effect on your happiness, morale, and zeal to work should not be taken lightly as this could be an attribute of a toxic work relationship.
Detoxifying work relationships
- Confront the person. If you feel comfortable doing so, have an open and honest conversation with the person involved. Explain how their behavior is affecting you and ask them to stop. Sometimes colleagues may treat us in a certain way without knowing the effects of their actions. The only way to verify whether this is deliberate disruptive behavior is to have a chat about it. If the behavior does not improve, only then may further action be considered.
- Document everything. If possible, keep a record of any negative behaviors, including dates, times, and what was said or done. This can be useful if you need to escalate the issue.
- Talk to HR. If you’re unable to resolve the issue directly with the person involved, or if the behavior is particularly serious, speak to HR, or your manager or follow your organization’s stipulated reporting line as may be the case.
- Dilute toxic relationships with positive energy. You may be surprised how many problems you can solve with kindness. Use kindness to disarm toxic workmates. Being vocal about the positives in one’s character and work may help reduce a workmate’s toxicity towards you and will help foster a healthier relationship. It is uncommon to have so much negativity towards a person that is genuinely nice and frank with you.
As previously stated, toxic work relationships may extend to clients depending on your organization’s work and/or role thereof. These must be handled with the utmost care, lest your firm loses business. If you feel you got on a client’s bad side and the toxicity seems personal, it may be more prudent to stop engaging and ask for a transfer.
If you can pinpoint the cause of the toxicity, then you are in a better position than most. This gives you a chance to rectify your mistakes if at all you’re the cause.
Conclusion
In conclusion, toxic work relationships can have a significant impact on your well-being and career. It’s important to identify the signs early and take action to address them. This may involve having a difficult conversation with the person involved, documenting the behavior, seeking help from HR, and completely avoiding the relations
