Last week, a friend who has embarked on some businesses over the last one year called me and asked for a short meeting for business advice. In my mind, I thought it was the usual capital raising, debt structuring, sales and tax advisory that am specialized at and hence went to that meeting without any form of preparation. However, it turned not be a business consultancy meeting but a lamentation session of an entrepreneur who doesn’t feel supported by family and friends. This friend of mine is running a fashion and ladies accessories line and expects all her workmates, family, and friends to buy her products.
Whenever, we embark on the entrepreneurship journey, one of the things or places we look to for support is our social networks; friends, family, and associates. However, sometimes these networks don’t work positively for entrepreneurs and can lead to disappointment. When you’re in the throes of being soooo excited about your shiny new business and the new life you are creating for yourself, it’s easy to assume that your friends and loved ones will be super happy for you and super supportive. But what if they’re not?
Sometimes the reality can be very different. In fact, a lot of the time it’s different, it’s a really common issue for people and it can really start to hold you back. It can make you feel ‘wrong’ in some way and question what you’re doing.
Personally, I also get to ask my self the same questions; why my family and friends are spending their money elsewhere when am offering the same products and services.
We can all be disappointed when friends and family don’t buy from us, comment on our business posts, or attend our events … after all, we need their support, right?! If they were friends, they would want to support us/buy from us … right?!! No!
Our friends and family are not our customers. Nor should we feel disappointed when they spend their money elsewhere, and NOT buy from US. We can wonder how people can tell us time and again how much they admire and support what we are doing, but when it’s time for them to buy from us or book our services, it doesn’t happen!
Sometimes, when our friends are not buying our products and booking our services, it feels like a personal rejection. When you can’t understand why the people who love you the most do not stand behind your business, your dream, your vision, maybe – just maybe – its time to understand that it’s perfectly okay.
When faced with such situations, please consider the following;
Friends and family may not be your target customers – the simple truth could be that perhaps your product or service may not be the right fit for your friends and family. What you’re offering might be awesome to you and even to them but when you take a deep dive, are these people in your target market? The better and more poignant question is; have you identified and really honed in on your target audience? As a business owner or brand, your job is to figure out WHO is your target audience and then hone in on how to track that audience down and engage with them.
Do they believe in your product or service? – this might HURT but have you considered that your friends and family may not believe in or like the product or service that you are offering. Thing is…your business just may not be their ‘thing’ and that’s okay, just because they love us doesn’t mean they’re obligated to promote us, use our products, or even ask us about it! You will gain and lose so many friends throughout the process of starting your own business and it can be a sad thing, but it can also be a great thing!
Even if they tell you how great it is and how proud of you, they are, but then don’t follow through with booking, attending, or buying, perhaps they just don’t want to pick up what you’re putting down. It’s not WRONG! They CAN be BOTH proud of you for what you’re doing and NOT like it for themselves. That’s OK!
Is it toxic or from a good place? – Sometimes people might subconsciously even secretly want you to fail…when you suspect that’s what’s happening you can either call it out or cut them out but it’s toxic energy to be around, so you need to minimise that pronto!
Sometimes it’s their fear for you and it comes from a good place, it can just be unhelpful so in this instance it’s up to you to educate them more on your plan, your ‘why’, show them how much you’ve thought it through…and decide if they are the right people to speak to.
If you have financial obligations, then that’s another story and you need to have your sensible hat on there but that REALLY isn’t anything to stop you as long as you have it all worked out.
Entrepreneurs often struggle to keep going without the support of family and friends, but I always tell them this: Friends and family don’t pay your bills, and people who don’t share your business goals, and ambition or background simply may not understand what you are doing or trying to achieve. I once obsessed over who did (or didn’t) wine and dine from my food business, hire me for the private or corporate cocktails and lunches or who didn’t hire my firm for consulting services, and then realized I was just spending mental capacity on something that would never yield tangible results for my business. The only thing I really needed to worry about was my business, so I put my head down and started strategizing.
About the author
Edwin is Chartered Accountant, Investment Advisor, Corporate Banker, Public Speaker, Board Member with extensive record of accomplishment of working with multi-stakeholders and cross-sector groups in local and international organisations. He is well networked among business professionals in various business segments corporations, multinational companies, development organizations, aid agencies, financial institutions, SMEs, professional bodies, and government.
